I need to get my s**t together

Totally unlike me to ever cuss on my blog, but there's no simpler way to put it.
One of the blogs I enjoy reading on a regular basis is Amber's "The Daily Doty". On one of her entries, she shared her favorite quote by Walter Wellesley Smith. The quote says: "There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein." I can relate to that quote in so many different ways, but for now, I just want to open a vein and share a few things about myself that I've been bottling up inside.
I went to a high school that really tried to focus most of its curriculum around writing. I truly enjoyed it, but I remember always thinking, "when I get to college, I'm going to study either math or science." Here I am today, halfway through my engineering degree. I struggled so much, and still do. I had to take a remedial math course that wasn't worth any credits, but I have already completed all 3 levels of calculus and am now enrolled in two very advanced math courses. When I told one of my classmates this, her jaw dropped, "you had to take remedial math?!" she asked me, and I nodded; a little ashamed, but mostly proud. How many people can say they started college knowing nothing but simple algebra, and successfully climbed the academic ladder to such advanced courses? Not many people, I can tell you that.
Honestly, I feel stupid around the students in my courses. These are all bright people who knew what they were getting themselves into when they signed up for this major, I just wanted to be different. I thought it was going to be a piece of cake as long as I stayed focused. I kind of feel like Elle Woods sometimes. People have their doubts, but I'm proving them all wrong. So maybe I'm not at an ivy league school -- hell, I'm not even at a 4-year college -- but slowly I'm climbing that ladder, just like I did before. Maybe I don't get A's in every test, but I have my disadvantages.
The reality of it is, I need to stop feeling stupid around these people. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I signed up for this. Yeah, it's hard and yeah, it's getting the best of me, but I wanted this. I was the one who got up one day and said, "hey, I think I'll go into engineering." Do I regret making this decision? Hell yeah, all the time! Should I regret this decision? Hell no. I'm halfway there, and all the tough courses are pretty much out of the way. Starting next year, I will be taking courses I want to take, my technical courses. I will be dealing with more physics, I will be dealing with sketching. I will enjoy it. I need to keep my head up, I need to dedicate every single down time I have to studying. When it's all over, I will have accomplished something no one else in my family has. I will have a college degree.
I want to make them proud. I want to make my mom proud. I want to make my grandma proud. I want to make Anthony proud. But most of all, I want to be proud of myself. I want to share this story with others. I want them to see how far I've come. I want to inspire someone.
Thanks for reading.
XOXO,
Marge

My favorite things about autumn

So, it's official, it is fall and this is by far my favorite season. Here's a list of my favorite things:

1. My birthday!

This is a picture of my birthday last year. It's not the best picture, but it was captured at midnight. My friend to the right had the staff of the bar know that it was going to be my birthday in a few hours, and this is the result! Opa!!

2. Halloween has many different categories:

2a. Pumpkin/apple picking

This is a picture from last year when we went apple and pumpkin picking with Anthony's family. We haven't scheduled a date to go back this year yet, but I hope we do that sometiem soon!

2b. Dressing up

This is an oldie but a goodie. I was 16 when this picture was taken. From left to right: my stepdad, a close family friend and her boyfriend.

2c. Scary movies

I have mentioned numerous times how much of a halloween junkie I am. I love scary movies! Not the new ones though, I love the classics. "Nightmare on Elm Street" being my favorite and Freddy Krueger my favorite fictional character.

2d. Candy!

Who doesn't love candy? Don't answer that though, because it may upset me. I know there are a few people out there who don't really enjoy candy, (I know, hard to get around that statement, right?) But I loooove my candy, especially gummy bears, Smarties and white chocolate!

3. The weather

I do hate the rain, I'm not gonna lie, but I love the cold weather! I love wearing hoodies and jackets and my Uggs. The only time I enjoy the rain are on days I get to sleep in and stay home all day.

4. Football season

I love football! I also love hockey, but I see hockey as more of a winter sport, even though it isn't. I'm so torn between being a Bears fan and a Giants fan. This is the perfect picture to represent my views on football. Also, isn't Anthony super cute?

5. Hot chocolate and cookies

I already possess a wonderful chocolate-chip cookie recipe. However, now I need a sugar cookie and butter cookie recipes! I also need to learn how to make my own hot chocolate. I usually just buy the pre-made mix, but I'd like to have a homier recipe at hand.

6. Fall television

Although school is keeping my schedule hectic, I have had some time to watch television on Wednesdays. My favorite show, "Modern Family", is back and right after is a new show "Revenge" that premiered this week. I actually really enjoyed it, so I'll probably be watching it this season. NCIS is also back, but I missed the first episode, so I'm hoping to find it online somewhere.

That's about all, what are your favorite things about your favorite season?

XOXO,

Marge

Monday night football

I had no clue what the title of this entry should be, so I named it after the first thing I heard. As you can guess, I am watching the Giants vs. Rams game tonight. My physics professor is at the game and he said that if the Giants lose, we can expect a very tough exam. So, they better win!

I had a very fun night out with the Reddit ladies. As you can see on the picture above. I made some good friends and I am hoping to hang out with them again sometime soon.

What's super, duper exciting is the fact I am going to Salem for my birthday! I am a huge Halloween junkie, and this is something I've wanted to do for a long time, so I'm super stoked. We're only going for the weekend, but that's plenty of time in my opinion.

Speaking of Halloween, I finally saw "The Exorcist" for the first time in my life yesterday evening. I was expecting a lot more, but either way, it was enough to scare me. I love the thrill!

School is hectic. As I've mentioned in the past, there aren't enough hours in the day. I am working super hard on chemistry, but still don't know what to expect. My first exam this semester was today and it was for my computer methods class. I didn't even know how to go about studying for it, but I don't think I did too bad. I have a linear algebra quiz this Wednesday, and we have a study group tomorrow, so I'm definitely going to that. That's all for tonight.

XOXO,

Marge

I just don't understand

I've been working out a lot lately, and have started eating healthier, and always try to eat breakfast, and somehow, instead of losing weight, I'm putting more on. Can someone please explain that to me? It's been 3 weeks now and I'm just bloating up and none of it makes sense.

It's really upsetting to know you're putting on weight and doing nothing to prevent it. It's even more upsetting when you're trying really hard to get back in shape and all you see are negative results.

Now, what's even worse than that is, the fact that fall is pretty much here (today's high is 56F) and I don't fit into any of my fall/winter clothes! I just want to cry!!! I have an event tonight I've been organizing for the past 2 weeks and I have nothing to wear. Literally though. This isn't all just in vain. I'm actually heading out to buy an outfit right now, 2 hours before my party. If I had any self esteem left, it's pretty much gone now.

Other updates? School still sucks the life out of me. I still love my physics professor. My house is still dirty. I did the laundry today. I've been working really hard in chemistry. Tomorrow my mom's roommate is helping me with some of it actually. What else? Anthony's off to Atlantic City tomorrow for his college buddy's bachelor party. Am I jealous? A little bit. Does he deserve some guy time away from me? Absolutely.

Anyway though, I really just want to crawl under a rock and never leave my house again. Hope your Friday's better than mine.

XOXO,

Marge

Finally, some time in the kitchen!

The title says it all. Although I did not get to cook a delicious dinner, I did take care of breakfast both today and Sunday, and I made cookies. That's some progress, right? Although baking shouldn't count. I was so proud of myself for waking up at 5:30AM to make Anthony and I breakfast this morning though. Go me!
I just registered to volunteer at the 9/11 Memorial center. I figured it's for a good cause and it's near my school. Why not, right?
I really need help with Chemistry! It isn't even funny anymore. Thank goodness we are only up to chapter 12. In any case, I still have all of 11 to teach myself and I can't even finish my lab because I can't remember how to do half of the stuff in it. I am still really enjoying Physics though... I'm also starting to cut professor Know-It-All some slack because I really enjoy the topic he teaches.
I haven't been to the gym since last Wednesday because of all the studying I had to do. It's crazy how much work has accumulated already. I guess it's really hard to get around to doing everything when you have 3 pages of work for every single one of your 5 classes and still need to teach yourself stuff you should have learned last semester in Chemistry. I'm really overwhelmed and it's only the 3rd week of classes. Someone, please, help me!
I'm going to the gym now since I have some free time before I have to bury my head in another textbook...
XOXO,
Marge

Game day

Today is the 10th year anniversary since the terrorism attacks on 9/11. There is nothing like being home and watching America's game with your loved ones on a day like this. We shall never forget the ones who lost their lives 10 years ago and they are forever in our hearts.

I made some cookies but I was not quick enough to take a picture of my fresh batch. In a matter of 5 minutes, 12 of my cookies were gone! Definitely the best batch I've ever made...

Anyway, there isn't much to update you on, but I will close this off with a beautiful picture of Connor and I from yesterday.

XOXO,

Marge

Waking up late

Yesterday I woke up at a decent time, got to the bus stop early and had no trouble getting to class on time. I remember thinking, "when you're on time, everything goes right." I don't even know how my brain came up with such a catchy phrase, but it did. My day was pretty wonderful, and if you ask me, it's been the best day since school's begun.

However, today is a whole different story. I heard the alarm and thought my boyfriend hit snooze by accident when he went to turn it off. So, I turned off the alarm and didn't even bother opening my eyes to check the time. Ha, only to wake up an hour later and find out that I had actually turned off my alarm instead of his! Turns out I was half an hour late for class and it was really upsetting. Not only because it makes me look bad in my professor's eyes, but also because Physics is my favorite class and I thoroughly enjoy it. I don't ever want to miss a minute of it, and I most certainly don't want to look lazy.

Well, I'm not going to cry over spilled milk. Just need to actually open my eyes next time I reach for that clock!

This weekend is pretty packed! I have our friend's birthday get together tonight, Anthony's cousin's 14th birthday party tomorrow, and football on Sunday!

Hope all is well on your end...

XOXO,

Marge

Rain, rain, go away!

So yes, today is raining and it's disgusting out. It's also pretty chilly, and to me, that simply means summer has come to an end yet again.
I went to the gym for over 2 hours today! I did 40 minutes of cardio, 20 minutes of weights (approximately,) and I took a Zumba class. Which didn't go so well. Right at the end, there was about 10 minutes left of class, I pulled a muscle. It was around my butt and it did not feel good! The class itself is pretty out of my league, I made a complete fool of myself, but I wasn't the only one. I actually really enjoyed it though, and I plan on taking it again next week! Hopefully I won't pull another muscle...
Then, as I was stretching out to make the pain go away, this personal trainer approached me and offered some help with this new machine that would really help stretch out and relax my muscles. It was wonderful, but I learned something quite unfortunate.
Turns out that my body is all messed up from carrying all that weight on my left shoulder. I'm incapable of having it on my right shoulder and it's really starting to show on my posture. She says I have a mommy body and I don't even have kids! She also said that if I keep this up, I can develop Scoliosis and that's something I most certainly do not want! She told me, she ordered me actually, to start carrying my bag on my right shoulder otherwise I am really going to regret it. So, I'm trying, but I'm struggling. I really don't want to be permanently damaged.
Anyway, that's all for today, I have some studying to do.
XOXO,
Marge

Anthony's finally home!

I'm going to keep this post short. First and foremost, as the title has stated, my boyfriend is home! I'm so ecstatic!

I finally got around to doing the laundry. The house still isn't clean, but it is organized.

I did half of my Physics homework, I'll do the other half tomorrow sometime.

I hope you are having a wonderful 3-day weekend!

XOXO,

Marge

New title

As you can see, I changed the name of the blog. Since so far there has been no success in the kitchen, I think I'm just going to make this blog about my general life. I don't know what to call this journey, I thought maybe "life," but the chances of me updating this blog for the rest of my life are very slim. So, I just kept it "Marjorie's Journey," plain and simple.

I'm really quite impressed I've been so good about updating this blog so far. Usually, you can tell right away whether or not your blog will be successful. I know this because I've had more blogs than a normal girl should probably have in her life. And I'm young.

Anyway, Anthony is still not back from Westchester. We were expecting him tonight, but they want to keep him for one more day. So, it sucks, but at least I know I get to see him tomorrow.

My best friend was supposed to come stay over and keep me company, but I told her he was coming home tonight, so we canceled our plans. Now, here I am, all alone, writing on my blog. It's not that bad, I just wish I could get off reddit.

I haven't done the laundry. I haven't cleaned the house. I haven't cooked for myself. I haven't done my Physics homework. I'm really just a huge failure this weekend so far.

I plan on doing all those things tomorrow before Anthony gets home. I like to have him come home to a pleasant environment, I don't want him to witness my current living situation. Of course, I'm mostly exaggerating, but he still deserves all the best.

I was so excited and looking forward to his homecoming tonight and now I'm just really upset again. I feel so bad for my little guy, he's only going to have Monday off and then it's back to the daily grind again.

I'm most certainly not looking forward to Tuesday, but I am excited for the gym! I don't know what it is about me lately, but I am thoroughly enjoying working out. That's a miracle, because if you knew me, if you really knew me, you'd know how much of a lazy bum I am. Especially when it comes to working out. I don't know, maybe it means I'm growing up.

XOXO,

Marge

11 most used products

I was on youtube today, and came across a lot of vloggers talking about their 11 most used beauty products. I don't have a vlog or anything, but I wanted to share my favorite products as well.

1. John Frieda Full Repair shampoo and conditioner

People always compliment my hair and ask what I do to it... Not much, really. I comb it while it's wet so that it doesn't get frizzy or too volume-y. I suppose my shampoo and conditioner are a little pricey, but nothing too crazy. I try to avoid blowdrying or straightening my hair because I fear I'll damage it.

2. Aveeno's Skin Relief moisturizer

My skin has always been an issue. I have extra dry skin and have consulted many dermatologists in the past. They've prescribed many things, but nothing was ever really successful. Then, a couple of years ago, Aveeno came out with the moisturizer pictured above. It is for extra dry skin and works wonders! I love, love it! Ever since I discovered it, I never looked back. It sells for about $9-$12 usually.

3. Clinique Happy for Men

This is by far my favorite scent! I know it says 'for men', but trust me, it is very feminine. I discovered this cologne when I was 15 years old, and bought a couple of bottles since. My last one was in August of 2009. I unfortunately had to part with a full bottle prior to boarding my plane in Chicago. Since I had so many perfumes waiting for me at home, I decided not to buy a new bottle and to try new things instead... However, I miss it so much and I know that this will definitely be my next purchase at Sephora.

4. Mood Swing by Too Faced lipgloss

If I were making this list in order from favorite to least-favorite, this would definitely be number 1. I've been using this lipgloss since '08. It is amazing, to say the least. I've only found it at Sephora and I always recommend it. It gets your lips to the perfect shade of pink every time.

5. Essie nail polish (nude colors)

Honestly, I don't care what the color is. As long as it is neutral and slightly pink, I am good to go. However, the brand really does make a difference, and I'm an Essie girl!

6. Venus Breeze by Gillette

I've been a faithful Breeze consumer for the past 5 years. I think it's been 5 years, I might be wrong.

7. Almay's Smart Shade liquid concealer

I often change eyeliners and mascaras, but I pretty much stick to my good ol' concealer. I use Almay, and it's fairly new, maybe 2 years old. The liquid is white when it comes out of the tube, and blends with your skin tone (because it's smart, get it?)

8. L'Oreal Sublime Bronze towelettes

I'm very self-conscious about my skin. If I have to wear a skirt or a dress during winter, or right after winter, I need to go out and buy these little guys. They work wonders. You don't see the difference right away, and next thing you know, your legs are beautifully tan. They don't turn you orange either. It gives you a nice, even, natural looking tan. I never used it in any other part of my body, however, and I don't suggest you use it on your face.

9. Herbal Essence mousse

I've definitely been using this mousse for at least 5 years. There's nothing too special about it. It leaves my hair soft and it smells wonderful. Usually when I like a product, I stick to it. That's probably the reason why I haven't shopped around for mousse ever since. And to be frank, I rarely use it. It's one of those beauty products I go to when I'm in a rush or simply lazy.

10. Bath & Body Works Sweet Pea hand sanitizer to-go

I adore my hand sanitizer! I love the sweet pea scent the most. I have one bottle hanging from the handle of my pocketbook and another that travels inside my wristlet. It's everywhere I go and it smells like heaven!

11. Blistex DCT

I love my blistex and it's the best medicine for chapped lips, especially during the winter. I have about 3 packs in my nightstand. It's always in my bag, but I always forget to use it. I don't have chapped lips because every night, at least 3 times in the middle of the night, I use my minty chapstick that sits on my nightstand. I'm very OCD about it because I hate chapped lips! Since I have awesome moist lips the entire day due to my nightly routine, I forget to use my blistex. It is still amazing though and definitely deserves to be on this list!

Alright, so that was my list, you should share yours, too!

XOXO,

Marge